5 Habits to Help You Feel More in Control of Your Life (Which Is a Great Feeling)

5 Habits to Help You Feel More in Control of Your Life (Which Is a Great Feeling)5 Habits to Help You Feel More in Control of Your Life (Which Is a Great Feeling)Too many of us live our lives based on what we think were supposed to do or should be doing. Without realizing it, weve let others beliefs become our own. Thats fine when those thoughts leverage our strengths and passions and move us toward our dreams. But all too often, these internalized assumptions lead us in the wrong direction and cause us to make choices that are inconsistent with who we are and what we want. So, we take the job that fills the wallet but not the heart. We overcommit and are plagued with guilt and resentment. We give and give and never get back what we want. And we wonder how we got here and what to do about it.While writing my book, The Should Syndrome Break Free and departure Living the Life You Want, I came up with strategies to help people take charge of their lives and stop letting their shoulds di ctate their choices. Here are some ideas to help you let go of your own setbacks1. Yes Also Means NoWishful thinking aside, we have a limited amount of time and energy. When we say yes to one thing, we are saying no to something else. So, before you agree to take on that high-profile project at work, consider what you are saying no to- is it time with your family, sleep, volunteering, or just time to relax? The benefits may be worth the sacrifice, but understand the trade-offs before you decide.2. Remember That Its Almost Never About YouAll too often we get caught up in self-doubt and assume that peoples reactions are a reflection on us She didnt call me back, I must have offended her. No one responded to my suggestion at that meeting, I must not know what Im talking about. Most of the time, its about them, not us. They are distracted or busy or having a bad day. If you really need to know, then ask, Is everything okay? I was worried when you didnt call me back. If you learn that it really was about you, then correct the situation. But most often, youll find that it was about something else entirely.3. Take Time to ReflectIts easy to get caught up in the swirl of our everyday lives. Taking time out of the daily routine can bring new perspectives. Reflect back on the day, the month, or the year and give yourself kudos for your accomplishments. Think about your unique talents and capabilities Have you been using them? Then, reflect on the future What do you want to accomplish? How do you want to spend your time and energy? As you gain clarity on who you are and what you want, youll start making choices that move you in the direction that is right for you.4. Pay AttentionSometimes we dont know what we want. One way to figure it out is to pay attention to how different experiences make you feel. Does this new assignment excite you, petrify you, or both? Did that conversation with your boss make you angry, or motivated? Do you feel guilty about not spending more ti me with your family? Each situation and interaction is an opportunity to learn about you. Which activities energize you? What makes you feel afraid, or happy, or angry?If you have trouble deciphering your feelings, then pay attention to your body. Our physical reactions are a window into our emotions. Closed posture, high-pitched voice, churning stomach, tears- these are signs of anger, resentment, and fear. Smiling, laughing, a spring in your step- these are signs of joy, contentment, and enthusiasm. Start paying attention to your feelings and see what they tell you about who you are and what you want.5. Learn to Trust YourselfWe often hesitate because were afraid well make the wrong choice, or we worry about things that might happen. Should I take that new lokalitt? What if I fail? What if I get pregnant and want to take time off? Should I stay in this relationship? What if it doesnt work out? We never have all of the answers- life is full of unexpected events. The key to living t he life you want is to make the best decision you can based on the information you have at the time- and then to trust yourself. Trust that you will find a way to be successful. Trust that you will be able to handle whatever happens. Remember, very few decisions cant be undone. Its in your control. So, make the choice that works best for you, and trust that it will be okay.Read More From Motto3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Figure Out if Youre in the Right JobThe First Step to Happiness5 Ways to Stay Mentally Strong When Youre StressedPhoto of woman laughing courtesy of Hoxton/Tom Merton/Getty Images.